A couple weeks ago, I had an ultra disturbing dream. I woke up LAUGHING yet still a little nervous because it was so ridiculous, yet so real.

I'm at my cousin Sarah's house in Caldwell, ID. My mom, Sarah and I were outside in her driveway, looking through the fence into the angus cow field (pasture?) which really does exist in real life. As we were just looking and talking, I noticed something white, far out in the distance. It was about the same size as a cow, but walking erect, and notably lighter. 

I hopped the fence (because dream Melissa is much more agile than real Melissa) and started heading over toward this albino... thing. It couldn't be a cow because it was proportioned wrong - it was taller than it was wide, and it wasn't stationary as the black cows were. As I got closer, I noticed that the out-of-place white entity had huge, gorilla like arms and was PUNCHING DOWN the huge cows. Yeah, I know. Violent with a capitol "V". Every step revealed another startling detail. Not only did this white thing have gorilla ARMS, but also a huge white, muscular chest (again, very gorilla-esque). Sick. Another step: this thing had an enormous BUNNY head. Step- glowing red eyes. Step - I notice that when it moves, it looks majorly awkward. Step - IT HAS LITTLE BABY BUNNY HAUNCHES. Yes. Baby feet with gorilla chest, arms, back and shoulders. And then a disproportionately large head. This thing is FREAKY!!

I start running away (because although dream Melissa is not good at getting real laundry done, she isn't stupid enough to stay there and let this freak of nature punch her down!). I get back to my mom who stops me, and immediately begins reprimanding me. "The bunny can't HELP the way it is, Melissa. You are being rude." 

What? This is not happening. Mom,  I know I'm not supposed to be judgmental, but seriously? This thing is scary and can PUNCH ME DOWN!  She and Sarah seem perfectly fine about this. Calm, even. Dream Melissa isn't. Apparently violence against cows is acceptable, but discrimination against mutant rabbits is an unpardonable sin! As my mom tries to make me relax and become friends with this mutant...

***ALERT HERE COMES THE BEST PART OF THE DREAM***

...She explains that when this bunny was a baby, it fell, head-first into a bucket of Miracle Grow which fully soaked (and subsequently enlarged, and toned) it's head and torso (do rabbits have torsos?) but left it's hind legs normal. 

Isn't that great? 

To conclude, yes, I am weird, but subconscious Melissa is apparently much, much weirder.

Problematic

Early Monday morning is my usual time to do laundry. (Sometimes I can get away with not doing laundry for 2 WEEKS if i don't mind baggy/saggy jeans and lots of hoodies!) Living in the dorms with 40 girls/hallway, 3 hallways/wing, and 2 wings/building (that is 240 girls, by the way) and 6 measly (I say measly, but they are actually quite nice. The measly refers more to the seemingly disproportional amount) washing machines - the TIME to do laundry and AVAILABILITY of the washing machines rarely coincide. So Monday mornings are just ideal! I can take up FOUR washing machines at the same time and do all my loads at once. It is exhilarating. So Sunday night (who am I kidding, in bed before midnight? It was actually just ultra early on Monday morning) I set my alarm for 6:15. This works out nicely because I can get up, throw my loads in, and then come back up and sleep until 7:00 when I take them out and put them in the dryer. 

6:15 rolls around and my alarm goes off with the familiar promise that Rick Astley is never gonna give me up, let me down, or desert me. As real Melissa lays there in bed, lamenting how quickly those last 5 hours flew by, dream Melissa gets out of bed and goes down to the laundry room. Dream Melissa then proceeds to put in her loads of laundry, and even remembers the detergent. Then dream Melissa walks back up the 46,000 stairs to the bedroom, crawls back into bed with real Melissa, and then real Melissa resets her alarm for 7:00. At 7:00 dream Melissa walks down the stairs and puts the laundry into the dryers - she even remembers to put in dryer sheets. Then she walks up the stairs again, and goes back to sleep.

At 8:30, real Melissa wakes up to find that she has overslept and has no clothes to wear for the day. YAY! 

Sometimes I want to punch dream Melissa.